Divorce — the process
Contested Divorce – When Your Spouse Won't Consent or Blocks
Not every divorce is amicable. Sometimes a spouse does not want to end the marriage, refuses consent, or fights over maintenance, assets and children. That is stressful – but it does not mean you are trapped in your marriage. From over 300 proceedings handled, we know how even entrenched situations can be resolved: with a clear plan and, where necessary, firm representation of your rights.
Quick answer
A divorce is possible without the spouse's consent. After the year of separation, the court can divorce the marriage if it has broken down. If the spouses have lived apart for more than three years, the breakdown is irrebuttably presumed – the divorce is then enforceable even against the other's will (Section 1566(2) German Civil Code, BGB).
In brief
- A divorce does not depend on your spouse's consent.
- After the year of separation, a divorce is possible if the marriage has broken down.
- After three years of living apart, the breakdown is irrebuttably presumed.
- Blocking usually only delays the divorce – it cannot, as a rule, prevent it.
- Disputes over maintenance, assets and children are dealt with separately as ancillary matters.
When is a divorce "contested"?
A divorce is contested when the spouses do not agree – either on the divorce itself or on its consequences. Two constellations are typical: one spouse does not want a divorce at all and refuses consent. Or both want the divorce but fight over maintenance, assets or the children. Both can be resolved – by different routes.
Divorce without consent after the separation year
A widespread misconception is that a divorce is only possible with both parties' consent. That is not true. Consent is only required for an amicable divorce under Section 1566(1) BGB. Where it is missing, the court can still divorce the marriage if it is satisfied that the marriage has broken down (Section 1565 BGB). The year of separation is the central indicator here.
Consent is not a veto
Anyone refusing consent can, as a rule, only delay the divorce, not prevent it permanently. After the year of separation, the court weighs whether the marriage has broken down.
The three-year rule
If the spouses have lived apart for more than three years, a statutory presumption applies: the breakdown of the marriage is then irrebuttably assumed (Section 1566(2) BGB). The objecting spouse can then no longer be heard with the argument that the marriage can still be saved. The divorce is thus enforceable even against their will.
When your spouse disputes the separation year
It becomes more difficult if the other party disputes the date of separation or the living apart – for instance to buy time. Then concrete indicators matter: separate accounts, re-registration of address, witnesses, moving out or separate housekeeping within the home. The better the start of separation is documented, the less room such a manoeuvre has.
Hardship divorce
In narrowly defined exceptional cases, a divorce is even possible before the year of separation has elapsed – the so-called hardship divorce (Section 1565(2) BGB). The requirement is that continuing the marriage constitutes an unreasonable hardship for reasons connected with the other spouse. The standards are strict; whether such a case exists we examine carefully in each instance.
Break the deadlock
If your spouse is stonewalling or playing for time, a considered approach is decisive. Describe the situation – we will show you the fastest legally sound route.
Disputes over the consequences
Often the fight is not about the divorce itself but about what hangs on it: maintenance, the division of assets, the shared property or the children. Such points are treated as ancillary matters. Importantly, not every point of dispute has to be litigated. Often part can be settled out of court while only the truly contested questions are decided. This keeps the procedure manageable.
Why your own representation matters
A lawyer may only ever represent one side. As soon as interests diverge, you therefore need your own representation to firmly advance your position – in enforcing the divorce as well as on maintenance, assets and the children. Where possible we seek the de-escalating solution; where the other side acts unfairly, we assert your rights clearly.
Related topics
Year of separation Amicable divorce Filing for divorce Maintenance Division of assets Custody and contact Divorce with children
Free tools to check first: Divorce readiness check Separation-year calculator
Frequently asked questions
Can I divorce if my spouse doesn't want to?
Yes. After the year of separation, the court can divorce the marriage if it has broken down. Missing consent can usually only delay the divorce.
What happens after three years of separation?
The breakdown of the marriage is then irrebuttably presumed (Section 1566(2) BGB). The divorce is enforceable even against the spouse's will.
What if my spouse disputes the date of separation?
Then concrete indicators matter. Good documentation of the start of separation is therefore important.
What is a hardship divorce?
A divorce exceptionally before the year of separation has elapsed, where continuing the marriage is unreasonable for reasons connected with the other spouse. The requirements are strict.
Do I need my own lawyer in a contested divorce?
Yes. As soon as interests diverge, your own representation is advisable, because a lawyer may only represent one side.
How long does a contested divorce take?
Longer than an amicable one – depending on how many ancillary matters are contested. We give you a realistic estimate early in the procedure.